Emotional Reclamation (A Proper Conclusion)

Okay so I lied, that wasn't the finale. But hey, this is a proper good ending this time.

Last night my parents were having family over for a big dinner, and since a couple of my aunts who I hadn't seen in many months were gonna be there too, I decided to turn up - like, really turn up, you know. I wanted to surprise them, since one of them is my godmother and neither of them had seen me for a long time since I came out as trans.

Their reaction wasn't quite as pronounced as I'll admit I'd hoped it'd be, but the way they just accepted it as if it was perfectly normal was just as reassuring to me. Moments after showing up I was talking to one of them about the time I've had transitioning, and she didn't bat an eyelid at all the stuff I was saying to her. I felt comfortable.

My other aunt even said she thought I was my mother at first glance, which I believe is now the strangest, yet still gender affirming compliment I've gotten to date (fortunately, I like my mom).

Despite the slightly subdued welcome, for the rest of the evening I was absolutely buzzing with gender euphoria. Every time I went to the bathroom I met myself with a smile in the mirror; and I mean a genuinely happy smile, not the kind where you're just putting on a brave face and keeping it together (not that I'd know what those are like, *nervous laugh*). I don't think I took as many selfies as I did the last time I put on makeup - but I definitely came close.

Once everyone had gone home and I was done helping clear up the mess, I sat back down at my desk with an idea bouncing around excitedly in my head. I was feeling on the edge of exhaustion, but I needed to get it done while the feeling was still so fresh and vivid in my mind.

I joined my Discord server and folks started trickling in. I distracted myself with the decidedly rambunctious company time and time again, but around 5 hours and a lot of lovely, lively conversations later, this is what I had. I made this all while still wearing my makeup and the same outfit from that lovely evening, and it felt so fucking great.

I couldn't leave out my good friend Gender Dysphoria, since this felt like the perfect way to show the fucker up and put it in its place. I also figured it'd be a fun way to show how good vibes affect it (thinking about it, it very much feels like an inverse version of Soul Choco, but that shouldn't be too surprising). That said, I didn't like him cramping my style too much either, so I slightly altered the piece to make a version that looks like a standard selfie I might've taken bunself (which I did do). 💝

This gives the series a better sense of closure to me, at least for now, but it's honestly been quite the trip taking little snapshots of my personal, emotional and mental state over the span of the busy week. I hope you've enjoyed following along with this visual journal of mine, as I'm quite sure it won't be the last of its kind.


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