Over the weekend, I had a change of plans that had me considering how to best spend my time and fill in the gaps in my schedule - preferably in ways other than binging on YouTube videos or the same 2 or 3 games I've been stuck on lately. While talking to my girlfriend about it, she asked me why I don't use the sketchbooks scattered around my room and my Surface to doodle from time to time, since I couldn't (and wasn't in the mood to) go to my studio to draw.

This sparked some sudden introspection and led me down a mental path I'd been carving out for some time while seeing other artists drawing recreationally or just for the sake of it. The realization hit me that I haven't done this in a very, very long time, and probably indicates that I've lost (or at the very least temporarily misplaced) the ability to draw spontaneously - that is, without having to be in a very specific place at specific times to ever consider doing so.

I talked about this briefly on my Twitter account a little later on, since it's the best place for me to express these thoughts similarly on a whim. As I mentioned in the thread, as far as drawing in general goes I've still retained a lot of that enjoyment despite all the challenges I've faced throughout my career, and I don't regret my decision to take my craft more seriously. It is the single thing that has retained my interest throughout my life, despite various challenges and even stuck with me past several attempts at finding a more "mainstream" career choice to live off of.

That having been said, making it my job has brought with it several implications and impacted how I practice my craft, since there's only so many ways in which I can go about it at any given time. Whether deliberately or not, I've made many decisions over the years; one of which was prioritizing more involved, well thought out projects in favour of the lighter, sketchier work that had been dominating my galleries at the time. This did help me aim higher and strive for more polished work, but while trying so hard to do so, I ended up internalizing that quick and easy artwork within a limited scope was not valuable.

This, combined with the need to manage my time between work and life very carefully had the knock-on effect of basically eliminating quick, anything-goes artwork as an option during my free time. While it's helped mitigate the risk of burnout at the worst of times, I do think it's worth looking into and experimenting with again. It may lead me to places I otherwise wouldn't have seen, but still ultimately results in more art for my fans and supporters to enjoy.

To that end, I later got my Surface set up for some experimental doodling. I learned more about using it in a way that suits me best, as well as getting some ideas for how to improve the button mappings for my joycon shortcuts. It eventually resulted in a drawing of Soul Chocolate.

So, here it is as a little reward for reading this journal. ♥