So I'm smaller than I thought - or perhaps more accurately - than I've allowed myself to be. There. I said it.

A series of realisations, including and certainly not limited to how aggressively I still mask on a daily basis, and the possibility that I might be the "little" in my system, led me to explore the idea a little more thoroughly, especially given the effect it can - and has - had on my relationships since then.

While talking to my Mommy Garnet about it, I considered the idea that Rayna and Antoinette might be here at least partly to take on more responsibility from me, which led me to make this on stream a while back. It felt quite cathartic to do, but was only the first step in coming to terms with and accepting this about myself.

A while before any of this happened, my sister Rain and I talked about her own similar realizations, and very quickly turned the discussion around onto me. While I knew there was something there, I was still very much in denial, and tried my best not to think too much about it.

Needless to say, acknowledging it again took me back to that conversation with her, and I made her this as a token of gratitude... If perhaps a tad begrudging in tone.