Allow me some lofty prose as I close off this massive chapter of my life and prepare to move on to the next;

The times I've been going through lately have felt akin to a conflagration of the self - I've had such gloriously high highs and catastrophically low lows in a remarkably short amount of time that it's shattered a lot of my strongest-held personal preconceptions. These experiences have shone a stark light on sides of myself I've either taken fully for granted and have since changed, or been far too scared to stare at for any length of time - lest I break things I think I understand, or learn things about those I'd much rather not.

This piece is in large part related to one of the things I rubbed up against the hardest over the past several months, and it came to me after I saw a particularly poignant line that I extended to make mine. I've felt for the longest time that pursuing the things I value most always come at some great personal expense - usually leading me to choose between some forms of letting go in recalcitrance, or risking hurting myself in persistence.

Many of you know well that I'm both agonizingly ambitious and painfully passionate in ample measures, but I lack the reserves I desperately wish I did in order to fulfill those desires to the extent that I wish I could.

Sometimes this rolls over all the way into begrudging myself even a meager attempt at all, and berating myself for it; but by and large, this is a fairly antagonistic relationship that I have with myself and have been trying damn hard to make less toxic.

That's easier said than done, but saying it is certainly a start.