Today's Arwyn's birthday, so I made some time after working all day on my upcoming con panel to make her a little something special. She's been working on her car a lot lately, and we both seem to enjoy me calling her my "Diesel Dyke," so the idea was an easy choice.

Vanta, one of my friend Spid's headmates and a voidhound, has a taste for rabbit. I have been told that I am particularly appealing to their palate even on top of that.

I've always found this to be strangely very flattering.

I've been sitting on this title for almost a year now. I had a different idea in mind for it, but it served my purposes just fine for this project instead.

I started out with this teaser pinup that stands on its own as a bit of visual storytelling, and it ran double duty as an ad for folks to know I was taking Easter commissions! The idea was that I was behind on my quota, and needed help - which wasn't entirely wrong!

We start with a handful of critters who wanted to be depicted bearing the eggs, but not laying them; Penny, Kenny, and Joe.

The Easter Council can make special arrangements for these folks wanting to contribute while maintaining certain levels of comfort, and just look at them glow. I'm especially fond of the expressions here.

Then we get into the option that the vast majority of folks went with; laying the eggs themselves.

I led the charge since I still needed to contribute some amount of them for my referrals to count for anything, but after that we have Melody, Charlene, Cyric, PlushWah, PlushWah again (how eager!), Derran, Vlue, James, Jake, Marlo, Jamie (before and after), Cobble, Snowy, Claire, and Holly!

Such helpful, productive egg-layers. I more than beat my quota for the holiday, so thank you for participating!

Some folks wanted to nominate my dear Sissy to help out too, which resulted in this bonus piece right at the end of the stream. Unfortunately we only got around to it past midnight, so the eggs won't actually be needed.

Oh well!

Consistency is hard, and Potential rather meaningless, when you don't even know what to expect from yourself.

I made these badges for my friends Plushie and Ran, in time for ScotiaCon '26; both plushie themed! Quite pleased with how the art turned out on them both.

I've been experimenting with a straightforward method of making badges that can be easily replicated, and simplifies the printing process. I tried it out already with the badges for myself and Fae, using a standard passport-ish size to fit in matching plastic lanyard envelopes, and I quite like it!

My only issue with these designs, much like with most other badges I've seen, is that the name's text is hard to make easily readable at a distance. I like the idea of being recognized from across the room at a con, and I find that the art in a badge doesn't convey enough of the character's identity from a far glance to be reliable enough for that.

Sometimes, all of the words in the world aren't enough to express feelings in a way that they deserve.

Regular programming will resume soon, with any luck. Until then, thank you all for your continued support.

It's now just a few days till I'm properly back home since I left at the beginning of December. It's been an amazing time.

Our life has truly grown far beyond what I could've hoped for just a few years ago, to the point where I now feel like my art - fantastical and idealised as it is - is what's lagging behind all that we've received, experienced, and learned lately. It's genuinely gotten hard to keep up, and calling ourselves "blessed" is an understatement.

Visiting, living, and being with people who have grown close to us, contributed to, and been a part of this fucking crazy journey we've been on since we've started transitioning has made me ever more and endlessly grateful for what we have. The experiences we shared together were and will always be precious to me.

While giving room for my anxieties about my privilege and good fortune, I must trust that none of those involved would want this to be transactional, and that their appreciation of the time we had together is mutual; still, I feel I owe a great deal now, more than ever.

Importantly, though, what I owe is more fundamental than reciprocating: it's to be as much myself as I can possibly muster.

The biggest issue, which is what I've grappled with the hardest while on this latest trip, has been my apparent fear and apprehension of doing just that. I've grown a lot more gregarious with expressing and acting true to myself in person than I've ever been before, but even so, I've struggled to follow through in a similar way with my art.

That may come as a bit of a surprise given the subjects I've been posting about lately (perhaps not so much given the relative infrequency and simplicity of the art - though that's the anxieties talking again), but it's true. I've been extremely inspired lately on a regular basis with all the life I've been getting to live, but any time I have the opportunity to put that to good use, and channel it into my craft, I recoil. Cower, even.

Sapphire Synonym has been on my mind almost constantly ever since I came up with the concept. But as I've been trying to push through and commit to what has essentially been a lifelong goal of mine, the reluctance and apprehension I've felt about it all have only grown stronger.

I'm scared of it, and I can't explain why; not because I don't know, but because there's so many different reasons that I'm aware of. It would take too long and get me nowhere, and even so, I am painfully aware that a lot of the fears are only perceived, and not real. My perfectionism, fear of failure, aversion to commitment, and impatience on top of all that..

None of it matters if I could just Make. Draw. Create. Write. Share. Do. It's the only fix.

I am aware of the irony of chastising myself for not creating due to being effectively mentally unwell, but the frustration feels justified. My inaction is only prolonging the vicious cycle I feel stuck in, as I continue punishing myself for wanting to be ambitious with the work I ostensibly love to do. The list of ideas grows, with none of the follow-through.

Several people have discussed these issues with me multiple times over this trip to try to help me, but it still feels like I'm no closer to budging on this deep-seated fear of committing fully to creating things the way I so badly want to. I have so much going for me, and I feel very strongly that that should be enough for me to thrive.

While it ought to be as simple as getting to it once I'm back home again, my past struggles with doing just that - after trips which were even more eventful and inspiring than this - make me worry and doubt myself rather severely. While visiting my girlfriend Arwyn, she showed me some of the physical rewards that I used to send out to my patrons way back when, and she'd kept since then. One of the enclosed letters, dated 2017, had me discussing my ongoing insecurities, and with how many issues I described similar to those in this post, it genuinely read as though I may as well have written it today.

I just want to be okay, and find it a little easier to put in the work I need in order to succeed - not materially (although that would be a nice bonus), but at making the things I have the ambition for. I've done it before, and it's the entire reason why I'm on the path that I am today; but I feel like something is wrong, it has been for a while, and I'd very much like for it not to be any more.

Thank you for reading.

My Sissy is moving! This was not planned!

She and our good friends Tower and Ziggy are having to house-hunt and get a lot sorted out in a very short amount of time, and could use the help with the costs of securing a new home.

They have a GoFundMe running here right now - any contributions and shares would be greatly appreciated!

Some things happened between me and my sister ((transgender)) Never, and while there's some more context behind this interaction than shown, I feel like it speaks enough for itself that it's complete as it is.

I ran a stream where, at the end of each Balatro run I played, I raffled off a free art slot for a winner to get drawn as one of the jokers I ended with.

Firstly we have the three cards from my two losses; three because Jake turned up as a second winner in the first raffle, and we agreed that it would be funny if I drew him as the Stencil - so, effectively, drawing him being decidedly not there at all.

This also includes Fiona as Throwback, and Alfador as Steel.

I then played one last blinder of a run that led to a big win, and James won the subsequent raffle. Egg was in play, but I convinced him to choose a more involved one. He went with Constellation, which I'm extremely pleased about.

I enjoyed celebrating Christmas with a handful of close friends at Never's place this year. While making plans, some of us ganged up on and teased her with the idea of making her a child-friendly dish using the different parts of the meal being served.

She seemed really upset by this, to the point of threatening to throw a tantrum if we decided to pull such a stunt.

So I knew I had to draw it.

I asked her friend Tower, who was doing the vast majority of the cooking, if this could happen; they'd already made plans.

So I made this as a birthday gift for the fussy fewwit, to commemorate and immortalize the occasion.

Happy birthday, Sissy.

I was spurred on to make this after several experiences I've had this year, accompanied by the advice and support I've gotten from folks like Garnet and Never while talking about the core issues I have revolving around what seemed like a simple fascination I have with either sharing, or outright giving first time experiences to people.

I was at least cautious of the impact that this could potentially have on my relationships, so I made sure not to let it get in the way of things - but hidden underneath was something a bit more fundamental that I was missing for the bigger picture.

I think I could've managed to make this a little bit better, but it does the job well enough and I'm better off for having made it at all. I'm especially fond of how Rayna in a more of a yokai form came out looking, though; and I think she looks really pretty in the last few frames, there.