Ever since Chili became a thing, I've been feeling things out, and it seems like I've found a few more rabbits bouncing around inside my head. One particularly loud voice was one that I've chalked up to my habitually intrusive, anxious, fearful, and worried thoughts.

Flake is the one whose been mostly responsible for those thoughts, is unsurprisingly a hare, and seeks out problems and danger for us to be careful of and stay away from - perhaps a tad too insistently at times. Her fur colours are more muted, wears a shock collar, is "taller" than me but stands shorter cause of how she slouches. She often doesn't bother wearing her glasses.

When we're feeling especially scared, I've taken to calling it "Flaking out," as I depicted in the follow-up comic I made after first pinning down her design.

Expressing this aspect in different ways has actually made it easier at times to give room to the worried, scared, perhaps spiralling thoughts that sometimes crop up. It's let me give them space, rather than letting them fester inside my own head in the interests of keeping us safe. It's been interesting, to say the least.

I attended a themed VR hypno event where folks were roleplaying as adventurers, seeking out trouble opportunity in an enchanted forest on the night of a Blood Moon.

Without going too deeply into specifics, I didn't feel all that inclined - and frankly a little intimidated - to get into the roleplaying aspect at the start of the event. However, by the end of proceedings I'd ended up alone, which got me wondering who in their right mind would ever go into a Fey-infested place, much less on a Blood Moon. Depending on the lore of who you ask, it can effectively be a death sentence, but that gave me the inspiration I needed to make sense of it all.

The next day, I streamed for 9 and a half hours working on all sorts of hypno themed scenes that happened over the course of my night, weaving a narrative of my escapades and deliberate misadventures. I started with the character design for my troubleseeker puppy, which I'd come up with towards the end of the event.

I genuinely love this concept. She's basically what I call a misadventurer; someone who actively seeks out dangerous and compromising situations for the sake of inspiration, and sometimes research. Her bell makes it easier to attract danger attention while roving around precarious places, to expedite the process of collecting memories, while her soulbound amulet protects her from lasting harm by allowing her to instantly recall back to the last safe place she can remember (so long as she's made the effort to remember it).

The enchanted pencils and paper she carries with her have a knack for finding their way back to her, no matter what happens, but are also unaffected by the amulet's rewinding function - quite handy, since triggering the recall would undo any drawings she's made, and only gives her a short amount of time before her thoughts and memories also return to that point when she last "saved."

I'm hoping that the art I made will make folks more willing to target approach me, on the off chance that they.. Inspire me, too.

I then set out on recounting and "committing to memory" the events that transpired on the night.

First up we have Cinabunny, who ambushed my friends and I, and eventually worked his way to me while I watched on, motionless. With a taunt and a kiss, he made it a lot harder for me to escape from any threats I may later encounter - which suited me just fine, but gosh did it feel ever so good to be rid of those anxieties for a while.

While resting by a bonfire with some kindred folk, I felt a strange presence about, who I believe goes by RaeRaq? When I looked up towards a nearby windmill, perched up on the side of a cliff we were sheltering beside, I saw a friendly spirit watching us from afar. I greeted it from below, but I think I quickly realized that it wasn't quite as friendly as I first thought.

I was later wandering further into the woods, when I encountered an adorable little fox critter Cheshire, AKA Butterscotch, who was sadly lost and separated from their mistress! Fortunately I was there to help (I later caught back up with them just in time to watch them betray their mistress.. But shh, you didn't hear that from me).

And last, but not least, the mischievous spirit SpiceSpells, who tricked me so completely right after we'd established some trust while chasing after some sprites together! They turned the tables on me when I complained about not having an especially fruitful night of collecting memories, which I was very thankful for, and intensely amused by!

I find it quite amusing that literally the first thing I did within an hour of posting my birthday thing - where I said that the number of variants and forms of my fursonas is getting out of hand - is design another one of them.

Say hi to Chili Chocolate, my realsona's devil form - with credit to Flowers for the name, who got it down perfect in one try. She exists on the same spectrum as my bunny and puppy forms, on the polar opposite end to the pup.

To explain her inception as briefly as possible, it started out somewhere around 10 years ago when my friend's pastor literally called me a "devil;" a badge of honor I obviously still wield with pride to this day. More recently, I shared the story about it with my friend Crow, who has a headmate that's a demon named Blake. They liked it so much that they then helped me brainstorm what I would look like as a devil myself.

While telling stories on stream, I shared the one about my runin with the clergy - and I remembered the design that was floating around in my head. I knew what I had to do.

While sketching her out on stream I also workshopped with the chat what her personality and attitude would be; what about her would set her apart from my bunny and puppy forms. A lot of the discussion revolved around her being more dominant and a little bit cruel ((in a good way)) and harsh ((also same)) in ways, but that didn't sit quite right with me.

At some point during those discussions I remembered that earlier that day, I was talking about wanting to be more determined about my wants and needs and to get better at asserting them, and it suddenly made perfect sense:

Chili isn't cruel, mean, or domineering - she's Hedonistic. Confident. Assertive. Selfish, even. She knows what she likes and wants, and knows how to get it. She's not necessarily dominant, nor forceful nor malicious, and doesn't want to control or harm; but she wants to enjoy herself and get the things she wants for herself. If others get something out of whatever it is that she's having, then that's all the better for everyone involved.

One small detail that doesn't show up in this design sketch is that she only has one horn, on the left. I'm not quite sure what the significance of that is yet, but the idea came to me while discussing it with Blake, and it stuck.

To sum up; in Garnet's ever astute words when I first showed Chili off to her, "she's a Power Bottom." And boy, is she ever.

Arwyn got herself a new fursona! This is Scratch, and she's a sweetheart (and a bit of a hole but shh).

She's been tinkering with the idea for a little while and recently settled on a design. I promptly put to canvas the second I could, based off of the VRChat avatar design she made and the pup hood she got done for her too.

She's a smaller dog than Arwyn, just that Little Bit more carefree and happy-go-lucky (an honestly impressive feat if you ask me ) and perhaps a little less bratty, but that part's left to be seen. I love them both to bits, but needless to say I was pretty excited to see my girlfriend exploring her own identity with new fursonas too - it was certainly a bonus that she also happened to be a pup.

A while back I also found this perfect collar tag while browsing a pet store for no particular reason (*cough*), so I made a little art to include with the gift package I planned to send it to her in.

This was before she made Scratch, but given the coincidental colours of the tag, it was too good not to include this here.

This has been about 13 years in the making. When I first submitted that older refsheet, I knew that I wanted to make another for myself as I am, rather than idealized as Chocolate (and of course, Ruby later on). It took me about a month from start to finish to get this done, and it feels so good to have finally put it down on paper.

Being entirely honest, I was surprised by how much I struggled to find the right words when I sat down to write this out, given how important this refsheet turned out to be for me. Not because I didn't have much to say, but because I didn't know where to start from. I do wish I'd thought to post this on Chocolate day, which is when I finished it, but I still have that at least.

The entire time I was working on this project, I kept thinking about how it took the combined influence of starting on HRT and realizing that I'm puppy to finally force me to commit to how I want to be seen. To tell the whole story though, once I'd added mechanics to my fursona, I suddenly had a strong need to explain them. Can't imagine why... *Coughs in Game Designer*

I also planned the sheet as one huge piece, but it quickly grew cumbersome and I took the extra steps of formatting it as three standalone parts as well. I'm not sure which of the two layouts I prefer, so I just posted them both anyway.

Writing about myself in this way has never been easy for me, but I've grown confident enough to want to do it anyway.

I hope you like the results of this crazy journey as much as I enjoyed commemorating having made it this far.

Following my design of Dark Chocolate, I got to thinking (read: daydreaming) about going the complete opposite direction with Ruby, seeing as she originally happened a result of me wanting to indulge my submissive side.

Making her into a lamb seemed like the only logical choice; just as fluffy and soft, but somehow even meeker (might I say... Sheepish?), submissive and suggestible than her usual self. This form's idea was mainly intended as a companion (and you'll find a lot of commonalities in their designs) to Katie's sheep form, but I have many plans for this vulnerable little thing.

Here's the design page, and finalized look of Lamby Ruby. I love the soft little woolbaby.

I then made this featuring my friend Robin, cause she gave me the idea and I tricked her into encouraging me to do it.

Say hello to Dark Chocolate.

A little while back, my adorable little friend Fae showed me an extremely Choco-coded plushie design on Plushie Dreadfuls that was sparking some fun thoughts in her. I'd been wanting to make something involving both her and Chocolate for a long time, as well as revisiting the idea I had of variants for Chocolate so it pretty much wrote itself.

She's so goddamn cute.

After I showed the above drawing to my sweet, gushy little little, Katie, she was absolutely smitten.

I knew I had to subject her to Dark Chocolate too, so I did, and then she was completely wrecked.

And now, it's your turn.

My friend Piter commissioned some in-depth character design and refsheet work and I was happy to oblige.

It took a tad longer than I'd have probably liked but here he is, both little and large(ish)!

Honestly I love working on Procyon and their ilk; I do kinda cheat by lumping in Red Pandas along with them, but they are technically closer related to them than Giant Pandas! A zookeeper said as much to me.

I'll start off this post by saying I'm doing fine now; although this part is related to some feelings that need deeper investigation and work, it's not as bad as what I illustrated I was going through at the start of this series.

A couple of nights ago, once I'd cleared my mental processes of the anxiety and fear that was stopping me from making things, some feelings of inadequacy and self-doubt started creeping in again. At the time I didn't really know what they meant nor where they were coming from, but the very next morning (which would be yesterday) it dawned on me and I knew exactly what I needed to draw.

Therapy set me straight on a lot of what was plaguing me, but I still wanted to see this final part of the trilogy through as I felt like it showed the other major aspect to my personal dysfunctions and insecurities, which was just as important for me to get down on paper.

I don't expect this particular saga to go on much further, if at all, this time around; but this certainly won't be the last time we see the dysfunctions turn up again, especially in my art.

That said, "this last time" also involved a bonus "Finale" that was suggested by my friend Plushie. In her own words, "Draw me helping you kick the shit out of 'im." Once I realized what I could do with it, the rest of it just fell into place as a fun, silly little ending to tie things off. Please don't feel bad for it, it'll be fine.

PS: Yes, it's also a Jojo reference.

PPS: This isn't the actual finale.

I recently picked up an adoptable from my friend JesseFerret, and frankly I don't even think I need to explain why I did it given that she looks like she might as well be related to Chocolate and Ruby.

Here's her original design and my rendition of her; I even exercised restraint and only slightly undressed her!

She's a more mature woman than my usual fare, and at around 48 years of age, she's far and away my oldest character but I loved the thought of making her more experienced and still as frisky and openly sexual as ever.

Miss Leslie is the head librarian, lead curator and effectively owner of a cozy, old little library which, to those unaware, would seem fairly unassuming and out of the way in its nook within the town it's situated. Within the right circles, it's rather renowned for its extensive and well-maintained section specializing in the occult and various sorceries.

She's a very kind soul and extremely diligent and committed to her duties, but can be a little clumsy at times. Some suspect that she attained her somewhat prestigious position through foul play, but those who know, really know how she got there.

She uses her knowledge and extensive resources at the library to indulge in a lot of depraved and kinky stuff with whoever catches her fancy and wants her to, and if you know how to ask, she'll show you a very good time in one of the secluded "reading rooms" in the darker sections of the library.

For a while now I've wanted to revamp my themed, "branded" promotional artwork, and I was inspired while watching a stream vod where the streamer had their desktop on full display with a really cozy vibe to it.

That, combined with my love for things retro and synthwave led me to design a new template based on lots of old things instead. I plan on using this for a few different things, but I figured I'd put it through its paces by remaking my commission pricelists since they're overdue for an update.

Here's two of a set of four. I'm really quite pleased with how they turned out! While it's a little bit chaotic for the amount of information presented, I think it still makes for a nice balance where it's nice to look at, but still quite easy to understand what's being conveyed.

A while back, my friend Nozomi gifted me one of their OCs to keep, who I've since added the first name "Amelie" to her original name of Floof Buns. and while I haven't had much time to give her the attention she deserves, I've at least tried my hand at drawing her and seeing how she'd look in my style.

We may see more of her in future.