I'm currently flying back home from a stay in the States to attend BFC. It was wonderful, and I'm excited to be back home where I can put my newfound energy to good use and make all sorts of new and fun things for y'all.

During the internal flight back from the con to my little sweetheart Fae, where I was staying for a while, my playlist landed on the song "Mother, I'm Here," which resonated with me powerfully (and is essential to the enjoyment of this piece), to the point of tears. It inspired an idea, as music is wont to do, but I didn't have the time or energy to tackle it at the time.

On the transatlantic flight to my layover in Amsterdam - which is where I'm preparing this post - the song came up again, and I was not about to let inspiration pass me by a second time. Luckily, I had my new sketching kit with me, and an empty seat beside me, so I set myself up to draw.

I hastily scrawled the lyrics down, fruitlessly attempting to choke back my tears again, and split the song up into pictures to go with each stanza.

My dearest Mommy Garnet was certainly at the forefront of my mind when I first heard the song, given the pointed lyrics and the fact that I have a room set aside for me to stay in at hers, but there are so many people in my life now who are eager to welcome me "back home," despite how far away or long I've gone. This is why I changed "Mother" to "Lover" in the sequence, as she is also very much that to me, too.

This gift I now have is, in no uncertain terms, something that I have sought out for my entire life, and as hard as it is to say goodbye each time I leave one home to return to another, the fact that I can do this at all is something that I cherish and value in ways that words cannot do justice.

And that is why I spent a couple of hours on my flight home feverishly drawing this, and uncontrollably crying nearly the entire time.

I took the photos on the plane to add the sense of immediacy and context of travel to the final piece, almost as if it were a performance in itself. However, this did make the sketches a little harder to read, so here are some clearer shots of each page to try and help with legibility.

A while back I rediscovered one of my favourite music artists Louis Cole, who has already inspired me to create one of my favourite pieces of art to date, and discovered that he released a whole new album in a remarkably Louis Cole sort of way.

Among those songs was one of the first that found me, and frankly remains my favourite from the entire album; "These Dreams are Killing Me." From the title I thought it was going to be about something quite different, so the whiplash when I listened to it was swift and pronounced. Even still, the subversion of expectation, however unintentional, inspired me greatly.

While the song itself certainly made its mark and I found myself resonating with it, it still left me a little wanting.

While my musical prowess is still no more than a far-off wish, I've always enjoyed writing, especially poetry; so I wove a few verses together to express what I thought the song was going to be about by the title alone, and what I was (and have been) struggling with myself for a while.

These dreams of mine they do persist
And so insist on willing me
To venture on and strive for more.
I pray don't falter, tarry or fail
Lest those same dreams should then change tack
And strive for killing me.

I was originally going to publish this in some way as a standalone piece, but it conjured up a very clear image in my mind that would serve as an excellent backdrop for it. It simmered there for a while, going through my usual stages of reluctance and and apprehension of taking on a project with any sort of ambition, even sitting as an empty canvas in my Unfinished Projects folder for about a week. Somewhat appropriately, really.

I then ran a vent stream, which is when I made Immanence, and later while combing through that folder I figured I had little to lose, and got it done in a single sitting. I went at it a little rougher than I might've liked to, but I'm happier with it being done rather than perfect - and likely never even attempted as a result.

I've actually dreamt of reciting this at an open mic night somewhere close by. Maybe someday.

With thanks to my friend Mishka.

between 3 and 6 when my big ideas hit
green freeways, green freeways, driving fast, at last
its hard to be fake with nobody else awake
I can live how I live baby, hanging hard, working hard

Ihddn asked me to split their reward slot in two, dedicating each half (~40 minutes) to making something based on a song they gave me. 

The first painting, inspired by Chevelle's "Jars," has a very grim feel to it, and tries to capture the lyrics in their entirety - somewhat literally in some cases. It resonated with me on the theme of the current state of our environment, though because the concept I had in mind was a bit too ambitious, I had to scale it back to finish in time.

The second, inspired by Starset's "Halo," was more simplistic and symbolic in its concept, look and feel. The music video also played a considerable part overall. I may have been too subtle with the contrast, but the colours play the greatest part in this piece.